Memory Monday: Mothers, Daughters, and Sex Education

My grandmother and one of her daughters

Mothers, Daughters, and Sex Education

            One of the things all mothers should deal with is in the area of sex education with their daughters.  I remember well the day that my mother and I had “the talk.” One morning when I was about eleven years old, Mother told me to come out to the barn while she milked the cows.  Sitting on her milking stool, with a bucket on the ground between her knees, my mother slowing milked the cow as she told me the “facts of life.”

Wearing my red carcoat and sitting on an upturned old bucket, I listened to her, understanding about half of what she was telling me because I was so afraid my older brother was going to come into the barn any minute and hear what she was saying (I wasn’t sure he knew about all that stuff).  Finally, she told me if I had any questions, to come and ask her.  That evening, I asked her a couple of things. She looked at me and told me not to ask any more questions.  I never did.  Looking back after many years, I understand she was probably embarrassed about the whole thing or else just didn’t know the answers to my questions.  But whatever the reason, I know she tried her best to teach me what I needed to know.

            I was fortunate when it came to teaching my daughter about the “birds and the bees”.  My daughter was four years old when my son was born, so by then we had already covered the question of where babies come from (she was always asking questions about my big tummy and she loved putting her little hands on me and feeling the baby move).  After he was born, we allowed her to be totally involved in just about everything with her little brother.  She asked questions about the differences in his body and hers when I gave him a bath, and I would answer her simply and truthfully.  I don’t ever remember having “the talk” with her, just a continual time of teaching that went on for several years without any embarrassment.

Often I think back about how my aunt said on one of our taped family interviews that her mother would never mention anything about sex to her daughters, and that she would probably roll over in her grave at the way we do things today.  Well, all I have to say is “Roll, Grandma, roll!”