Memory Monday: Identifying Family in Old Photos

IDENTIFYING FAMILY IN OLD PHOTOS

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking at an old photo and recognizing who someone is. Other times, it is fairly easy to identify someone, even though the person has aged through the decades. I came across the picture above in a file of my husband’s family. These are three siblings—a brother and his sisters. Their names are Oval, Ira, and Vera. Obviously, I know which one is Oval, since he is the brother. The sisters are twins named Ira and Vera (and one of them was my husband’s grandmother). But who is who? I knew they weren’t identical twins. Both of these women have passed, so I can’t ask them. When I looked at a more recent picture of the two:

I know that the sister in red is my husband’s grandmother. The other one is her sister. When I look at the “old” photo, I can see the difference in the two women. Look at their chins in each picture, one has a more rounded chin, the other one has a more squared chin. Now, I know that the lady sitting in the black and white pic is my husband’s grandmother.

Then like I said earlier, I an old family photo of someone and can’t identify him in a second photo.

Here is a picture of my great-grandfather in his later years:

And here is a school picture of him:

Now, can you pick out which of these boys would be my great-grandfather? I can’t, so I just say this is a picture of him when he was in school in the 1860s—he was born in 1851.

How have you identified people in old photos? Have you ever been wrong? How did you go about figuring out who was who?

Memory Monday: Coffee in Our Family Part 1

my father and grandfather - they both loved their coffee

COFFEE IN OUR FAMILY—Part 1

I didn’t start drinking coffee until after I graduated high school, but I remember my parents and grandparents drinking it. My grandfather had a special cup that he used. It was oversized and part of a set of light yellow and brown plaid dishes that my grandparents always used. Every morning at the breakfast table, he would pour his coffee from his cup into his equally-large saucer, then sip it. As a child, I thought that odd, but later learned that was how many of his generation (and those before him) drank their coffee. My dad always had at least one cup of coffee before he got out of bed. My grandmother-in-law would only pour an inch of coffee into her cup at a time—she liked it really hot.

Today, my husband has a metal insulated mug that he fills in the morning and drinks from it all day. I, on the other hand, have several large glasses that I use to make iced coffee year round. I fill one of the glasses full with ice cubes, at a bit of fat-free half & half or heavy cream (depending on which diet I am currently on), a good splash of flavored syrup (sugar-free since I’m diabetic), then give it a good stir. This is the way I drink my coffee year round.

On the other hand, our husband and daughter always drinks their black and unsweetened whether it is from their Keurig, their French press, cold-brew container, or the local coffee place. (A side note—a couple of those coffee devises were lost when a tornado passed by their home.)

It doesn’t matter how we drink our coffee—hot, cold, black, sweet, unsweetened, or (as my husband says of mine) not real coffee, we love it.

Memory Monday: My Daughter Had Another Birthday

my daughter eating her first birthday cake

MY DAUGHTER HAD ANOTHER BIRTHDAY

Years have come and gone since my daughter had her first birthday. We celebrated that one with her granddaddy and her step-grandmother at their home in Texas. My husband and I decorated the cake (I had planned it with a cupcake on top to give to her). We make a brown sugar bear on it because we had called her “Becky Bear” since the day she was born (just to let you know—we don’t call her that anymore). Here’s a picture of that cake:

After she blew out the candle—with help from her parents, we gave her the cupcake on top and let her have fun. As you can see in the first picture, we put newspaper underneath her to catch the mess. We had a lot of fun and memories from that day. As a side note, it was on her first birthday that she took her first steps by herself.

A few days ago, I was watching my granddaughter and I told her that in two days’ we would be having her mommy’s birthday. She said, “Birthday cake.” I told her that Mommy would blow out the candles. She said that she and her mommy would blow out the candles. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, after all, who would win in a fight like that with a three-year-old.

After the family dinner of manicotti, salad, and garlic bread (all my daughter’s choices), I brought out the birthday cake with candles. And as my granddaughter had said, she helped her mommy blow out the candles. By the way, my daughter’s birthday cake this year was tiramisu (again, her choice) and there were no bears anywhere around.

Throwback Thursday: Girl Riding a "Horse" Leg

From my "old and known" file:

Little girl—"What do you mean this isn’t a real horse?"

That's my caption. What's yours? Leave it in the comments below.

Throwback Thursday: A Woman with a Baby

The latest from my "old and known" file:

Woman with newborn—“Mother’s Day has a whole new meaning now.”

That's my caption. What's yours? Leave it in the comments.

Memory Monday: The Next Two Generations of Cooks

(We don't have a lot of pictures of us. I'm usually behind the camera. - Daughter)

THE NEXT TWO GENERATIONS OF COOKS

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve shared recipes from my mother and mother-in-law. Now I want to share two of my recipes and a couple of my daughter’s as we celebrate her first Mother’s Day with her daughter. They are pictured above. (By the way, the coat my granddaughter is wearing was sewn by my mother for my daughter more than thirty years ago.)

My recipe is a variation of my mother-in-law’s Pineapple Upside-down Cake. Growing up, my mother’s recipe for this desert always used pineapple rings with a whole cherry in the center of each ring. She baked her cake in a round pan. My mother-in-law used crushed pineapple, chopped cherries, and pecans in a 9” x 13” pan. I can’t remember the exact proportions that she used so I made up my own recipe using the same ingredients that she used.

Here is my version of Pineapple Upside-down Cake. Also, I am adding a second recipe, which is my variation that I created for a cooking contest (I didn’t win, but it was sure fun making and sharing the tries until I came up with the perfect recipe.

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE

1 stick of margarine or butter

1 lg can crushed pineapple, drained

1 cup brown sugar

1 jar of maraschino cherries, halved and drained

1 cup pecan halves

1 box of yellow cake mix with ingredients on package instructions

Combine 1^st five ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Pour into a 9x13" pan.

Prepare yellow cake mix, according to package direction.

Carefully spoon batter over hot pineapple mixture.

Bake at 350 for 40-50 minutes. When done, immediately invert onto serving tray.

PINEAPPLE RIGHT-SIDE-UP PIE WITH PRALINE TOPPING

Prep time: 15 minutes (Ready in 1 hour and 45 minutes)

Filling: 2 tablespoons cornstarch

1 cup brown sugar

¼ cup (½ stick) margarine

1 can (15 ¼ oz.) crushed pineapple, in its own juice

1 cup pecans pieces

1 (6 oz., approx. 25 cherries) jar maraschino cherries

Topping: 1 cup brown sugar

¼ cup (½ stick) margarine

1 cup pecans pieces

1 package (2 crusts) refrigerated piecrust

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. In a medium saucepan, mix cornstarch and 1 cup brown sugar. Add 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) margarine, pineapple, and 1 cup pecans; heat mixture over medium-high heat. Drain and cut the maraschino cherries in half and add to the mixture; stir frequently.

3. In a small non-stick saucepan, combine the remaining brown sugar, margarine, and pecans. Mix well and heat over medium heat, stirring frequently while preparing crusts.

4. Unwrap and line a 9” pie pan with one pie crust. Unwrap and score second piecrust.

5. Pour boiling pineapple mixture into the prepared pie shell. Place scored piecrust on top the hot mixture and crimp the edges of the pie crusts.

6. Pour nut mixture into the small saucepan on top of the pie, spreading out the nuts evenly.

7. Bake for 30 minutes or until the edges of the pie are lightly browned. Let the pie cool for 1 hour. Makes 10 servings.

Here are my daughter’s recipes:

FAUX STROGANOFF

1 bag of Amish noodles

2 cans of Amy's semi-condensed cream of mushroom soup

2 lbs ground beef

1/2 cup sour cream

Garlic, salt, pepper to taste

Parsley for garnishing

1. Brown meat with garlic, salt, and pepper. Drain after.

2. Boil noodles as per package directions

3. Mix cream of mushroom soup and meat, heat in a saucepan until warm.

4. Take meat sauce off the heat and add sour cream, mixing thoroughly.

5. Pour over prepared noodles.

6. Garnish with parsley.

Makes 8 servings.

SLOW COOKER CHICKEN RICE

3-4 boneless skinless chicken thighs

2-3 cans of Amy's semi-condensed cream of mushroom soup OR chicken stock

1-2 bunches of asparagus chopped into 1-2" pieces (exclude any really woody parts)

1 cup of uncooked rice

1. Place chicken and asparagus into the slow cooker with 2 cans of soup or stock. Cook on low for 6 hours.

2. Shred chicken with forks in the slow cooker.

3. Add rice to the slow cooker and turn up to high (20 minutes or to taste for white rice, 40 minutes or to taste for brown rice). Add extra soup or broth if needed.

Makes 4-6 large servings.

(Just a note, I, the daughter, am a very "by my gut" kind of cook, which is why my recipes are not terribly precise. I just go with what feels pretty right at the time and it almost always turns out okay. Except when I am baking. I am very precise with that.)

Well, over the last three weeks, I have shared the recipes of three generations. I can’t wait to see what the next generation’s favorite recipes will be. (A little added note: my grandmother-in-law, my mother-in-law, my daughter, and granddaughter all share the same middle name. Another little fun fact about our family across the generations.)

Memory Monday: My Mother-in-Law

My Mother-in-Law

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW

I had a wonderful mother-in-law and I can truthfully say that I was her daughter. When my husband was born (he was a big, big baby and his mother was a small woman), the doctor told my in-laws that any other children they had would have to be delivered by c-section. My father-in-law didn’t want to take a chance on anything happening to his wife (remember this was back in the 1940s and c-sections weren’t as common as they are today). He said that they wouldn’t have any more children. My mother-in-law told him that she wanted to give him a daughter. He told her that when their son married that they would have their daughter.

Fast forward a number of years. I married that boy and got a wonderful second set of parents. The way they loved and treated me, I was truly their daughter. (Actually, when I was going with my future husband, my mother said that if we married, I would have the most wonderful mother-in-law in the world. And as we all know, mothers are always right, well almost always.)

Even though she has been gone for a number of years, I want to honor her this Mother’s Day and share a couple of her favorite recipes.

AUNT EMMALEE’S BROCCOLI CASSEROLE

2 (16 oz. each) pkgs. frozen chopped broccoli

1 stick margarine

1 can sliced water chestnuts

1 pkg. onion soup mix

½ cup chopped pecans

2 cup Rice Krispies

Prepare broccoli according to directions, drain. Mix in other ingredients, reserving ½ of cereal. Pour into an ovenproof casserole dish. Slightly crush remaining Rice Krispies and place on top of mixture.

Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

(Emmalee was my mother-in-law’s aunt. Recently we learned the recipe was originally from Emmalee’s daughter, Gail. But since we have been calling this recipe Aunt Emmalee’s Broccoli Casserole for more than 40 years, the name of the recipe stuck.)

DOWN SOUTH BARS

2 T. butter or margarine

2 eggs

1 cup brown sugar

5 T. flour

1/8 t. soda

1 cup chopped nuts

1 t. vanilla

Powdered sugar

Melt butter in an 8”x8” pan. Beat eggs, combine brown sugar, flour, soda and nuts. Stir mixture into eggs. Add vanilla. Pour over butter. Do not stir. Bake 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Let cool slightly. Cut into bars and sprinkle with powdered sugar.

Makes about 18 bars.

(These were my husband’s favorite growing up and I still have the recipe on my fridge.)

Do you have any favorite recipes handed down from your mother-in-law?

Throwback Thursday: Dressed Up Woman

From my "old and known" file:

WOMAN—“What do I do? I’m all dressed up and have no place to go.”

That's my caption. What's yours? Leave it in the comments below.

Memory Monday: A LOT is Happening in February

My Parents-in-Law

A LOT IS HAPPENING IN FEBRUARY

Valentine’s Day is this week, but my husband and I usually don’t do anything special that day—we save our celebration for our anniversary. But that isn’t to say that there isn’t a lot to celebrate this month. As I have said in another post recently, February 15^th is a very special day in our family—today and in the past. My parents-in-law were married on that day 76 years ago. Sadly, they only had 38 years together.

Two nieces also have their birthdays on February 15^th, and I want to hope they have wonderful birthdays filled with love and happiness.

For our immediate family, we will celebrate our granddaughter’s 3^rd birthday on the 15^th. (Sh-h-h, we’re giving her a sandbox at our house and at her parent’s home, plus a few other presents.) As I think of the wonderful parents-in-law that I have been blessed with, I can’t help but think how much they would have loved and treasured their great-granddaughter.

What special memories do you have of Valentine’s Day? Is there anything special in your family that is celebrated in February?

Throwback Thursday: Woman and Her Baby

From my "Old and Known" File

You decide: Is the house tilting? OR Is the house standing straight and the original picture was tilting?

Memory Monday: Repeating Dates

My Mother

INTERESTING HOW DATES KEEP REPEATING IN OUR FAMILY

My mother was born in January (many years ago). I never could remember which day of the month—the 30^th or the 31^st. When I said that to my mother one time, she said she was born on the same day as Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

That has gotten me to thinking how other dates seem to repeat for those in my family. My parents married on July 16^th—the same day of the month that my dad’s sister and her husband had married a couple of years before. And if you think they planned it that way, you would be wrong. My parents only knew each other for about six weeks when they decided to marry. On July 15^th, they (along with another couple who would act as witnesses) went to get married, but there was some problem (I don’t remember what it was not). They had to wait until the next day and they tried it again. This time the deed was done.

February 15^th is another date that is another special date in our family. On that day, my parents-in-law married, a niece was born, as was my granddaughter.

August 12^th is yet another date that is the birthday of two members of my family—my grandfather and my son.

Do any dates keep repeating in your family?

Memory Monday: Another Multi-Generational Decoration

ANOTHER MULTI-GENERATIONAL DECORATION

Nearly 50 years ago (wow, that is a long time), I worked at K-Mart. At Christmas time that year, they had some music boxes that looked like angels surrounding and playing an organ. I bought one for me, then one each for my mother and mother-in-law. I loved mine and they said they loved theirs (hey, they are family, so what else could these dear ladies say?). Anyway, through the years, these two women passed away and their Christmas decorations have been passed down. I’m not sure if the one that is pictured above was mine or one of theirs. I do know that for two generations, we enjoyed them.

When my children were old enough, they like to play with the one I had. I don’t know how many times we wound it up and listened to it play “Silent Night.” This made three generations that have enjoyed this cute piece of Christmas.

Now my new granddaughter loves it. This makes four generations that have listened to it. I’m not sure if it will last to a fifth generation. If you look closely at the picture, you can see that one of the little angels at the top of the organ has lost its wings, while the other one has lost half of its. The angel “playing” the organ has not only lost its wings too but (and what you can’t see) also its right hand. The bench has been glued at least once and needs to be repaired again. The vases on the sides of the keyboard have lost their greenery and while the candleholders half way up the sides have lost their candles. Also what you can’t see if the left side where the blue plastic panel behind the filigree fell down and is lying under the music mechanism. Still, THE MUSIC FROM THIS MUSIC BOX SOUND GREAT! Most music boxes I’ve owned have become “tinny” after a while. This one is still beautiful sounding after all this time and use.

The other day, my granddaughter pulled it in front of her, placed a finger on either side of the angel on the bench, and “played” the organ as the music box slowly unwound. She loves it.

I will do my best to fix and glue together this piece of our family’s Christmas decorations so my granddaughter can play with it again next year (and several more years after that). Maybe, just maybe, with enough glue, it will last to the fifth generation of our family.

Memory Monday: The Tradition of the Christmas Present Ornaments

THE TRADITION OF THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT ORNAMENTS

When my husband was five years old, he wanted a watch. His parents told him that he had to learn to tell time before they would get him one, so he went to his grandmother and she taught him. At Christmas, he had a package under the tree with a red, loopy ribbon bow on it. As you probably already guessed, the package contained a watch. But there is more to the story—something that affects what my family does today. His mother saved that red, loopy ribbon bow and put it on his “main” Christmas present the next year, and the year after, and the year after, for as long as she lived.

My husband and I dated for two years before we married. During that time, they put a blue package ornament on my present from them and continued to do so as long as my mother-in-law lived.

After her death, my father-in-law gave us their Christmas decorations and he just used the 12-inch ceramic Christmas tree that his mother had given his wife. That red, loopy ribbon bow and the blue package ornament were among the things he gave us. We kept up the tradition of using those package ornaments through the years.

We were married about ten years when our daughter was born. We bought her a Holly Hobby package decoration to keep the tradition going. When our son was born, we got a green and white stick horse for his “main” present.

My husband was five when the red, loopy ribbon bow first appeared on his present, so it has seen about 65 Christmases. We’ve been married for 44 years, so my blue ornament has been used about 45 times. Holly Hobby and the stick horse have been on presents for more than 30 years each. When our daughter married over 10 years ago, we got her husband a snowman for his package decoration. It has been on his packages ever since.

The next generation has come along with our granddaughter. Last year—her first Christmas with us, we got her a pink heart to attach to her present. We will be using it again this year.

Oh, there is one more thing about the present ornaments. We never put names on these presents. Everyone knows by the ornament who gets the present and everyone knows that the present came from us.

One of these days, we will have to pass down these package decorations to the next generation. I have every faith that our children will keep the tradition going.

Memory Monday: Child's Chair

Little Blue Chair

A Child's Chair with a History and Maybe a Future

I won’t say our family members are hoarders, but some of the things we keep are used for generations. My husband was an only child, and his mother saved a number of things from his childhood—his story books, his metal trucks, his small record player with records, his little cowboy boots (which no one after him ever wore), his porcelain potty (not the chair, just the bowl), as well as several other things, including the chair above.

Now my mother didn’t save as much, but then there were four of us girls. I still have my last doll which my daughter played with when she was a little girl (see post about the LAST DOLL), a few books that I got through a Weekly Readers Book Club subscription, and a stuffed Jolly Green doll (well, this last one I finally threw away a couple of years ago because it was literally falling apart, maybe because it was over fifty years old).

I guess I have passed on the saving/hoarding gene to my daughter. It showed up in her at an early age. Once when I told her to clean her room, she hauled a large trash bag into the living room filled with books, toys, and trash. When I asked if it needed to go to the dumpster or put with what we would sell in a garage sale, she let me know it was neither—it was what she was saving for her children. Now you have to understand that at the time she was probably only in the second or third grade, so I figure she had heard me say the same thing “way too many times” about something I was saving for my grandchildren.

But there are some things that have been saved (and used) across the generations. The chair pictured above is one of those things. My husband used it about sixty-five years ago when he was a little boy, only it was a deep rose red then. Years later, our two children (who are both in their thirties now) used it. We have discussed the different colors of the chair lately, but neither one of use can remember when it was repainted blue (there is a layer of white between the red and the blue—how patriotic).

The chair is in use again for the newest generation. Our little two-year-old granddaughter sits on it while she plays in our living room. It is just the right size for her. And as well-built as it is, it should be available for the next generation in about another twenty or twenty-five years (and maybe several more generations after that).

Throwback Thursday: A Woman, a Young Man, and a Little Boy

From the person questioning the people, “Well, which way did it go—left, right, or down?”

That's my caption. What's yours? Leave your caption in the comments below.

Memory Monday: My Father-in-Law

My father-in-law acting silly

MY FATHER-IN-LAW

As Father’s Day approaches, I want to honor a very special man who was in my life too short a time—my father-in-law. He was a wonderful man who loved his wife and son. They only had one child because after she gave birth to their son, the doctor told them that any future births would have to be by C-section because my mother-in-law was too small to go through that again. When he heard that, he said they wouldn’t have any more because he didn’t want her to have that surgery (you have to remember this was in the 1940s). She told my father-in-law that she wanted to give him a daughter. He hugged her and said that when their son married, they would have their daughter. I became that daughter, even before my husband and I married.

After my mother-in-law passed away with cancer, he moved closer to us. Shortly after that, I changed from calling by his first name to “Dad.” (I had always called my father “Daddy” so it just seemed right.) Through the years, we shared a lot of great times together. I learned to sit on his left side when we played the game of 42, or he would outbid me just for the sake of outbidding me which he knew would cause me to give him one of “those” looks. We also had a number of contests concerning losing weight—and he won all of those. I think his secret to winning was what my mother-in-law prepared his meals while I had to do all the cooking at my house (and we all know that the cook has to “taste” everything before sitting down to dinner). One of my sweetest memories was when they would come to visit and he would get out my guitar (which I never learned to play, but he did), tune it up, and play while I sang with my mother-in-law.

But, I think the most wonderful thing about my father-in-law was how he took on the role of grandfather to our two children. His love for them was so deep and sure and constant. I just wished that he had lived long enough to see them reach adulthood, to see how they are living and loving, working and having fun. He was always so proud of them.

And with my granddaughter here now, I know that I will be better grandparent because of the example he was. Thank you, DAD.

Memory Monday: My Grandparents' Marriage

My grandparents' 50th Anniversary

MY GRANDPARENTS’ MARRIAGE

My husband and I have recently celebrated 44^th wedding anniversary. This is longer than either of our parents’ marriages. Both of those marriages last about 38 years, and they only ended because my mother-in-law died of cancer and my father was killed in a vehicular accident.

My maternal grandparents’ marriage lasted over 56 years. I remember their 50^th anniversary. Before then, my grandfather was well-known for hating to have his picture taken, even a casual snapshot. After all the hoop-la and picture-taking at the party, he changed and loved to have his picture taken. Also (and something I didn’t realize before, being a kid and all), my grandmother never had a wedding ring all those years. But that anniversary, she got one and (as far as I know) wore it the rest of her life. Oh, and one more interesting tidbit, although it was not about their anniversary, but rather about their marriage—my grandmother said one of the reasons she married my grandfather was that she thought he would give her beautiful children. And he did—all seven of them.

By the way, for our 50^th anniversary, we are thinking of going on an Alaskan cruise.

How many years have you been married? What interesting tidbits have you heard about your parents’ or grandparents’ weddings/marriages/anniversaries?

Memory Monday: Christmas Traditions in Our Family

My daughter and me (on her second Christmas)

CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS IN OUR FAMILY

Through the years, there have been lots of different traditions involving Christmas. With my husband’s family, they always had a big Christmas Eve party get-together. It would go something like this—my husband (as a little boy) had to get all dressed up and then wait until his grandfather finished his job at the grocery store, cleaned up (in a suit, no less), and came over with my husband’s grandmother. Then my husband had to wait (oh, so patiently, I’m sure) while his grandfather ate supper. Next, there were the family pictures to be taken—you know where each person has his or her picture taken, then there are the couples, then the couples with their children, then the grandparents with their grandchildren, and on and on. When that was done, the presents were distributed, usually by the grandchildren, and everyone sat around the room, and one by one each person opened a present. Once everyone had a turn, they repeated until all the presents were opened. Then they played 42 (a domino game) while eating candy and drinking eggnog. The next morning, they would find a new present under the tree. It was from Santa.

In my family it was a little different. On Christmas Eve when we were little, I remember us practicing how we would wake each other up, then run to the living room where the tree was. Early the next morning, we would gather around the tree—when Mother and Daddy finally got up. Once the word was given, we all dived under the tree trying to find our presents, then we would rip them open. Lots of laughing and yelling.

One of the best things about having these traditions, when my husband and I married we didn’t have to alternate families from year to year (by the way, our parents lived in the same town) since they opened presents at different times.

Through the years, my husband and our children have held onto some of those traditions and changed others. Both sets of our parents are gone and our children meet out our house (in jeans and tees, no posed pictures taken) on Christmas Eve for Snack Supper (with eggnog, of course) and games—this tradition we all love and plan to carry on for years to come. But there is one tradition that will change starting this year. Ever since our daughter married, they have slept our house so we could all wake up on Christmas morning and open presents (one person at a time). This year, we will open presents on Christmas Eve and everyone will go back to their home to sleep (my daughter and her husband now live about eight minutes away and my son lives about ten minutes). They will return Christmas morning to get their filled stockings and open the Santa presents, then eat Christmas dinner (it is always roast with all the trimming).

Oh, one more tradition that we still keep. My mother always bought a box of chocolate-covered cherries for each person, wrapped them, and put them under the tree. Mother has been gone for ten years now, but everyone knows that there will be a box of chocolate-covered cherries with his or her name (but no giver’s name, but we all know who they should be from) under the tree—and we all open them at the same time. When I’m old and gray, I will have one of my children promise that he or she will carry on this tradition—a nice link to the past.

What traditions has your family shared in? Which ones have you dropped? Which one do you still keep?

Memory Monday: Memories of My Father-in-Law

My father-in-law and his mother Vera

MEMORIES OF MY FATHER-IN-LAW

Because so much of family history is lost when just one person dies, I wanted to try and save as much as possible of ours. About a year after our son was born in the mid-80s, we bought a camcorder, and I started interviewing family members. (Unfortunately my father and my mother-in-law had passed away by then, so I will never be able to record their personal histories and stories). The first person I interviewed was my father-in-law. In recalling stories, he repeated how his mother one day was out in the field hoeing cotton, when her young beau came by. It was very uncomely for a young lady of that day to be see bare-footed (which she was at the time), so she quickly dug two holes in the ground, stepped into them and covered her feet with dirt. She could then properly greet her young man.

My father-in-law, also, told a story about his father. “One day, Dad and I were sitting at the table while Mom was fixing supper. Dad noticed that the punched-out S and P lids on the salt and pepper shakers had been switched when they had been refilled. So, Dad carefully poured out the salt into one pile on the table and the poured out the pepper into another pile. He then scraped the salt into the container that had held the pepper and then he put the pepper into the other shaker. After replacing the caps on both shakers, he sat back in his chair with a smile of satisfaction on his face for a job well done. I was just a little kid, but as I looked at the salt and pepper shakers and then at my dad, I asked him, “Why didn’t you just change the tops?” Laughing now, my father-in-law said that his dad just sat there looking stunned.

If possible, try and record or write down your memories and stories that you were told growing up. They will make a great bridge from the past generations to the future.

Memory Monday: A Valuable Lesson

Vera and Me

A MOST VALUABLE LESSON LEARNED

My husband’s paternal grandmother, Vera, was a small, feisty woman. After she was widowed, she lived for a number of years before her health caused her to move in with her twin sister, Era—but she was known to the family as Aunt Pete (still not sure why). But for most of the years I knew her, Vera lived in her own home by herself.

I would like to share my strongest memory of this woman and the lesson I learned that helps me today:

I met my husband’s grandmother at our wedding, but like many brides, there was so much going on that I didn’t make great connections with family members I had never met and who came from out-of-town (we lived in New Mexico and Vera lived in central Texas). So the first time I truly visited with her was when we went to her house. The first morning we were there and while my husband was getting dressed, I went into her kitchen as Grandmother (my husband’s name for her) was fixing breakfast. After greeting each other, she turned back to the stove. I noticed that the dress she was wearing hadn’t been zipped up the back up all the way.

I figured that she couldn’t reach back that far, so I said that I would help her with her zipper and reached out to do it. She turned around, looked at me, and said, “No, I’ll do it some way. One day, I’ll not be able to do things for myself. When that happens, it’ll be easier to accept help knowing that when I could do things for myself, I did them.”

She smiled. I smiled. A few minutes later, my husband walked into the kitchen, spied the dress not totally zipped up, and reached out to help. I jerked his arm back and shook my head. We went into the living room, and I explained what she had told me.

Now, forty plus years later, I understand much better what Grandmother meant. I’m older. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, but I can still do things for myself. The day may come when I can’t do things for myself, but at that time, I’ll know that I did all I could while I could. And that already feels good.