Memory Monday: More Tidbits on Manners from the Past

My Great-grandparents and Their Children

MORE TIDBITS ON MANNERS FROM THE PAST

As I was reading through some books on etiquette, I came across these tidbits in Matines’s Handbook of Etiquette, by Arthur Matine. It was published just after the American Civil War in 1866. My great-grandfather—the father pictured above—was born the same year.

I wonder how many of these were specifically taught to my great-grandparents by their parents.

Never read in company. A gentleman or lady may, however, look over a book of engravings with propriety.

It is a great thing to be able to walk like a gentleman—that is, to get rid of the awkward, lounging, swinging gait of a clown, and stop before you reach the affected and flippant step of a dandy. In short, nothing but being a gentleman can ever give you the air and step of one. A man who has a shallow or an impudent brain will be quite sure to show it in his heels, in spite of all that rules of manners can do for him.

In private, watch your thoughts; in your family, watch your temper; in society, watch your tongue.

Good sense must, in many cases, determine good breeding; because the same thing that would be civil at one time and to one person, may be quite otherwise at another time and to another person.

Frequent consultation of the watch or time-pieces is impolite, either when at home or abroad. If at home, it appears as if you were tired of your company and wished them to be gone; if abroad, as if the hours dragged heavily, and you were calculating how soon you would be released.

If you would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders as well as their contemporaries, teach them good manners in their childhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he may be the better fitted to command in his turn.

Show, but do not show off, your children to strangers. Recollect, in the matter of children, how many are born every hour, each one almost as remarkable as yours in the eyes of its papa and mamma.

How many of these do you think we should still be following today?